Beige

Six nights in the hospital. Five days in a ten by ten beige room waiting for a doctor to tell you if your worst fears are valid or not. This room is stripped bare and will reduce anyone to their lowest emotional point. Only thirteen channels on the TV projecting sound from tiny holes in the same remote that has the nurse call button. In the corner are two stiff chairs that discourage guests from staying too long. Conversation is limited to Erica’s condition unless someone intentionally changes the subject. This is the most uninspiring room for someone who needs to be inspired. It is easy to forget the comforts of life when everything around you reminds you how fragile life really is. It’s a wonder anyone ever gets better in the hospital. I’m just the spouse and I feel worse for being here. Erica is going stir crazy and just wants to be home. I guess this is a good sign because her energy and awareness are up enough to get pretty emotional about it.

Unfortunately, Erica is not going straight home. She will be transferred to In-patient Physical Rehabilitation Care at another hospital for the next two weeks. This is definitely worth celebrating because it means that the doctors and therapists believe that she can get better. But it also means that she will have to work and want to get better. Erica is weary and I feel it with her. The past two months have been a roller coaster seeming to have more downs than ups. And the past two years have taken a toll on her body. We are learning that all of the radiation and medication is having a lasting effect on her brain. Her treatments moving forward will need to be carefully coordinated between the radiation and medical oncology teams. But we can praise God that currently, the treatments have been very successful in fighting the tumors in her brain. Many are gone or reduced to a size so small there is no immediate concern. This will allow Erica to focus on physical therapy and getting strong again.

We praise God that the tests that she was hospitalized for have come back negative or normal and that improvement (should) start tomorrow. We thank the many friends and family that have stopped by. We cheer shrinking tumors and renewed hope!