Close to Home/Love is Enough

I read a Facebook post recently that touched too close to home. It was simultaneously difficult and inspiring.

“Your spouse is the one who’ll sit beside you when your parents die. Who’ll hold your hand through childbirth? Who might have to bathe you if you’re too sick to stand? This isn’t just about butterflies or date nights. It’s about choosing someone who shows up – in grief, in mess, in uncertainty. So no, I don’t believe love alone is enough. Commitment, maturity, and the ability to endure life’s ugly parts – that’s what sustains a marriage. Because when life gets painfully real, romance won’t carry your character. And the truth is, forever is only possible with someone who knows how to stay when it’s hard to love.” – copied from and unknown author.

While there is a lot of truth in this, I propose a different perspective.

True, romance will not carry us through this broken life’s challenges. But romance is not love. At best, it is only one manifestation of love. Love reveals itself in many ways, romance being one – commitment, maturity and the ability to endure life’s ugly parts is another. But what if we looked at romance differently during tough times? Is it not romantic to hold the hand of a loved one in a hospital bed until she falls asleep or to wheel them from their beige room to the hospital cafeteria for a dinner date? Do we do this out of commitment or out of love?

It is love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1Corinthians 13:7). The irony in the statement that “it is hard to love” is that it is love itself that carries us through the hard times.

I have had the difficult privilege to observe several family members be the caregivers for their spouse. I reflect on and am inspired by their examples of commitment every day (special thank you to those who are reading this). But I am now fully aware that their commitment could only have been driven by love, albeit a hard and sometimes painful love. So I challenge the Facebook post, that commitment, maturity, and endurance is what sustains a marriage.

Perhaps, love alone IS enough.

Speaking of close to home… Erica comes home from the hospital today. Her first time home since May 16. Yay!