Set Back? Or a good try?

August is birthday month for our boys, Bram the 21st, Christian the 31st. With their college and adult schedules, it has been difficult to get together and celebrate. So, we were happy to be able to make the hour and a half drive, each way, to meet them for a meal on Labor Day. Erica had really been missing the boys and this short visit was the joy-boost that she needed.

This has been a difficult and disappointing week following Erica’s trike accident. Yes, the bike that has been a motivator and topic of excitement suddenly became a point of fear and sadness. Up until last week, she had been riding in a vacant school parking lot. This week, the air turned cooler and we got a bit ambitious, deciding to take it up a notch and go to a park. With cars, dogs, other bikes wizzing by, Erica went off the road, flew like superman (her words) and crashed on her shoulder, thankfully in the grass. The injury is severe enough that her arm will be immobilized for a few weeks. Her pain is great, but emotional discouragement may be the greatest hurt of all.

There are moments when I see a maturity in my children that surpasses the level to which we raised them. Lessons that they learned in life, not at home. Lessons learned by risk, fully committing… and getting hurt. Learnings that they can pass to others, even their mother. Our boys grew up very active in contact sports; ice hockey, lacrosse, and rugby. They certainly knew the pain of sprains, broken bones, surgery and concussions. Our home has been converted into an infirmary many times. So when they heard of their mother’s injury, I could hear the true empathy in their voice, even over the speaker phone. But after listening to her story of the crash and the pain that followed, they each responded, with their own words of wisdom.

Bram had severely sprained his shoulder, neck and chest in a high school ice hockey game. He was immobile for weeks, should have missed the entire season, saved only by COVID postponing the season for over a month. He knows the pain she is dealing with. Every little move hurts and sometimes sitting still hurts worse. He told his mother (paraphrase), “It was five weeks before I could fully move again and a year before it fully stopped hurting. But when I realized I would be able to finish the season, I got back on the ice after about one month. Just practice at first, and it hurt. The coaches eased me in and I got to play the final games. He told of F1 drivers who crash get in the simulator right away. You have to get back in the cockpit or live with regret.

Christian picked up on Erica’s disappointment as she was expressing failure. She had been progressing so well through physical therapy. Now, how far would weeks in pain and a sling set her back? To this, Christian confidently told his mother that this was not a set back. She was trying something new and simply learned what not to do. (Paraphrase) “When you get better, just go back to the last thing that you did comfortably, something that you know you can do. Go back to the parking lot. You are not going backward, you are just starting again where you left off.”

This is what I heard:

To fully heal, you have to recover mind and body simultaneously.

and

When you are pushing yourself further, failure is not a set back, it is a good try.

These words were for Erica. But also for me. And perhaps for you.
Is there something you need to overcome? If so:
Are you focused on improving your mind or body or both?
When was the last time you took a risk and gave it a ‘good try”?